Grammys Schmammys
I didn’t watch the Grammys last night, but I could hear my old parents watching it, pretending they knew who half these people were and why this was such a big deal- trying to be really interested in “Laaady Gagaaahhh” like she’s the queen of England or something.
I heard bits and pieces, then just today, saw these images and thought of what was probably happening:
Gaga:
“I’m a fairy, Tinkerbell Futuristic Princess here to teach you things you could never imagine. -My dress is falling and I can’t fix it because I’m holding an Armani galaxy made of silver skewers.”
Brit Brit:
“It’s all the rage now to not wear pants, you know. But I’m a southern girl and a mother of 4…possibly 5 children, I have to be a bit modest. I’ll put on my nighttime negligee. Darn I look cute.”…..We all know the girl can’t dress herself any better than a 5 year old getting ready for his first day of school. It’s not her fault. Blame her parents. And the Mickey Mouse club.
Beyonce:
Elegant, tacky, as usual. With her Claire’s Accessories and embroidery. She will cut a bitch if her gown doesn’t have shine, or a train.
The Swift Kid:
Girl is too young to be so perfect. She’s playing the game very well, and her dress looked amazing on her. Can’t hate on the kid. I’m waiting for her to screw up though. Or become a ho’.
Kat Pear:
I think she can pull off just about anything. Plus, she bagged Russell Brand, the hottest, dirtiest, British sleaze Bag of ‘Rockstar luv’, and got him to want to marry her. That’s pretty impressive.
Pink:
Looked like a Saloon Miss’s fan after a hard, hot, summer day’s work. But the dress, was nice.
Carrie Underwood:
If she were Black, she would look like she just got saved from the rubble of a Haitian orphanage and Air Force One-d straight to the Grammys (…hmmm…maybe too much, too soon…sorry).
But she’s not Haitian, so… Whoa. Eat.
Miley Cyrus= Lindsay Lohan 2.0
Imogen Heap…of Garbage in the back alley of Chinatown.
Schnickers. WHY ARE YOU AT THE F@)@(*!H@*@( GRAMMYS?!??!?!?????? I really just don’t understand.
Ne-yo: Closet homo, hired two cheap, amatuer supermodels as his “dates”, because he’s such a “pimp with the ladies.” Yeah Ne-yo, We know, You’re straight, sure. Whatever.
Akon:
All Black Everything for REAL….
Jennifer Hudson. I don’t have a pic of her but she looked gorgeous. I love big women.
K, I’m done. I feel a little bad. To be honest, I respect (most of) these artists, regardless of what they wear. I’m just talking sheit.
Source: Yahoo Music Blogs